Child Custody - Mediation

Only a very small number of child custody cases are decided by a judge. More often parents can reach agreement outside of court, either through their attorneys or through a neutral third party mediator (with or without their attorneys present).  Procedures differ from county to county, but all counties in North Carolina have mandatory mediation for child custody cases.  Parents are ordered to attempt comprise before a court battle.

There are many reasons to avoid going to court; litigation is expensive, court dockets are overcrowded resulting in time consuming delays, and children can feel stuck in the middle of the battle, and at the end of it all the parties are left stripped of any desire to work together in their new co-parenting relationship.

Mediation is a process that allows individuals to structure their own resolutions of conflict. The mediator acts as a facilitator, providing a safe, neutral context for the negotiation process. The mediator assists the parties in defining the issues, generating potential solutions, staying focused on the child or children involved, and accepting the reality of their new situation. In contrast to a judge, a mediator has no power to determine the outcome in the case- the problem and its solution are left to the parents.

Unlike open court, all discussions in mediation are had in private. Only you, your spouse, attorneys, and/or mediator know what is discussed and the session cannot be recorded.

Parents can choose to use mediation before involving the court.  Privately using attorneys and a mediator before filing any action with the Court allows for communication to be amicable while keeping issues and priorities in perspective. Attorneys are usually present for private mediation (but not for court ordered mediation). Your attorney is also a great resource between mediation sessions to consult with regarding your legal rights and to review the agreement you have reached before finalizing it with the court.

In families where substance abuse, alcoholism, spousal abuse, or child abuse is occurring, mediation may not be the most appropriate resource. Such behaviors raise serious safety issues and should be disclosed to your attorney immediately.